the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
