i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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