I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
