i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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