why didn't you poke me back
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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