Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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