Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
