I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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