I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
