I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
