I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
