buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
