I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
