HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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