Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
