i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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