told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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