Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
