I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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