so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
