i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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