i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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