my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
