I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
