OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
