Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
