my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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