you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize
