I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
