Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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