super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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