Yo dont text me then not text me
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
