those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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