It's just like the Real World with babies
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
