forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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