there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
