We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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