tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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