Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
