You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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