where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i came on her dog
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
