I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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