I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
In America we eat man semen.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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