Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
