Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
