Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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