some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
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