Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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