How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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