I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
