To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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